The Talk
by Cause I'm Freaken Awesome
Summary: Teague has 'the talk' with Jack...when he's only five years old


"Daddy! Daddy please?" The five year old boy begged his father, holding up a golden retriever puppy. The boy had dark brown hair and beautiful brown eyes, which were extra wide at the moment. The boy, Jack Sparrow, was dressed in a white shirt, red vest, brown trousers, black boots, and a gold sash. An outfit his mother, Danielle, had put together for him, so their small family would all still be wearing red and gold...

"Jackie, no." His father said, very annoyed. He wore a bright red jacket with gold embroidery, and a mess of brown and white underneath it. He had, as Jack thought, a fabulous hat on top of a faded bandana. Under the bandana, he had greasy curly black hair, and dark eyes. The man, known as Captain Teague, took Jack out to the market to get him a sword, so that the child, in Teague's words 'might actually be useful, should anyone try to break in'...

They actually already bought a sword for Jack, and only stopped by the pet store for dog treats for the guard dog...

"Why not?" Jack whined, holding up the puppy higher.

"We don't need her." Teague grumbled. Truth is, Teague thought that the puppy was very nice looking. He knew that she didn't cost much, and that his wife would love her. The puppy was also a beautiful shade of gold, reminding Teague of shiny gold jewelry...

"Please?" Jack asked, his eyes, somehow, getting wider and glossy. The puppy, as if sensing what was going on, matched Jack's look...

Teague couldn't help but to smirk at his son, before turning to the man selling the puppies. He was a tall man, a little taller than Teague himself, with brown hair and green eyes. Teague grabbed the puppy and handed her to the man. "We're not interested."

Teague then grabbed Jack's wrist and walked away. "Wait! Da! I'm interested."

"You paying?" Teague asked, knowing that Jack had no money on him. "Look Jackie, in a few years, I'll explain to you why-"

"No you wont." Jack said. "You never do. You only say you'll explain to me later so that I'd forget about it."

Teague sighed, knowing what had to be done. "Jackie, let's go sit at that fountain." He said, walking over to a large fountain. Once he and Jack were seated, Teague sighed. "Well Jack, you remember the guard dog, right? The one with the keys?"

Jack nodded, knowing that this was serious. Teague never called him 'Jack' unless it was serious...

"Well, you see, when that old mangy dirty excuse for a dog is a male, a boy. That puppy you wanted-"

"Want." Jack corrected.

"Want, is a female, a girl." Teague continued. "And when she grows up, she'll do what all adult female dogs do. She'll find an adult male dog, they'll get together, and then she'll have puppies."

Jack smiled, imagining a few perfect golden puppies running around, playing fetch, being cute.

"Jack, who do you think's gonna have to take care of them?" Teague asked, shattering Jack's dream. Teague smiled as Jack's smile fell. "Exactly. And they'll bark and howl all night. Oh, and they'll bite. And they'll chew up all of your stuff."

"But where do the puppies come from?" Jack asked.

"Same place as any other baby, from inside the mother." Teague said. "You see, when a man and a woman decide to have a child, they have sex. When this happens, the woman becomes pregant. Then, nine months later, the woman gives birth to the baby." Teague watched as Jack's eyes started getting wider and wider out of shock and horror. "Sometimes, there's more than one child, and sometimes, the doctor has to cut the woman open to get the baby. Often, the woman dies during all of this."

"Da, I don't want that puppy anymore." Jack said, trying to process all of that information. "Can we go home now?"

* * *

At Shipwreck Cove...

Teague sat at his desk in the study, reading a book and smoking a pipe, when he heard glass shatter. He ignored it, thinking that his often fighting family was at it again. Just then, the study's door flew open, so quicky that it made a cracking sound against the cave's wall...

"Can I help you Luv?" Teague asked his wife. She had pale skin, even though she spent almost everyday outside, watching as Jack played with the few other kids that lived on the island. She had straight dark brown hair and beautiful brown, where Jack' got his hair and eyes from, though Jack's hair was wavy. She wore a red dress with gold embroidery, an exact match to Teague's jacket. Her face was red with fury...

"What did you talk to our son about?" She shouted.

"Nothing, why?"

"I was going to bring dinner in here for you, so that the three of us could eat together, and then Jackie runs up to me to help and he says 'Mum, what does sex mean?'!?" Danielle shouted, before slapping him. "I can't believe you Teague! He's only five years old! He's too young to be hearing about that!"

Teague watched as Danielle stormed out, taking a deep breath to keep from getting angry. "I didn't deserve that." He mumbled to himself, rubbing his cheek. "No wonder women and children are always first off the ship: they're impossible!"

* * *

**Yes, another Jack and Teague story...**

**Poor Jack...only five years...**


End file.
